A new and old experiment

My old experiment, my fanzine, is over. I’ve tried really hard to keep up with it, but I just don’t have the enthusiasm for it any more. I know a lot of that is due to the fact I don’t have the time for it any more, now I have a job. So, that is over, and it failed, though in the next few weeks I will post some of the articles and reviews I wrote for it, I don’t want to waste them, and I’m proud of some of them

Instead, I have a new experiment. The plan has always (read, since I decided I didn’t want to be a teacher) been to work for a year while I apply for an MA, then go back to university for an MA of some sort, either English Lit, hopefully followed by a PHD, or Library Studies, hopefully followed by a job as a librarian. At the moment I am leaning towards the English route, and have been looking at MAs, there are several Victorian Studies ones that I am very interested in, both in London and out of it. Upcoming members of family moving to various areas of the north of England have made me following them seem sensible, especially as it is cheaper, but ultimately I’ll be ruled by course choice over everything. I’m going to make my application the best I can, so I’ve started my research already, to make sure I know as much as I can about the courses I’ll be applying for, and the application process.

The preparation for uni has also taken a different form. As I’m considering a Victorian Studies MA it makes sense for me to be reading Victorian literature, but for the last couple of months I’ve been totally reading for pleasure, lots of comics, sci-fi, fantasy and pulp fiction, with lots more ‘literary’ books as well, but all of them post-1960’s at least. I’d been worried about getting out of touch with Victorian literature, and resolving ‘I’ll start reading more Victorian lit after I finish this book’… Luckily, I have been jolted from my procrastinating, by a book of course. I bought Elaine Showalter’s A Literature of Their Own the other day, it’s something I’ve read bits of in classes and wanted to read the whole thing, and only one chapter in it’s done the job.

I have resolved to keep a reading diary, and each week I have to read at least one book that I think will be useful to my course. It doesn’t have to be Victorian, theory and earlier and later books are fine, as are all genres, but I must read one book that isn’t obviously nothing to do with what I will be studying. I’m going to dig out all the random classics I’ve acquired and not read yet, the Arnold Bennet one will be interesting, considering how scathing Woolf was of him, and I have a list of more minor Victorian authors to keep and eye out for as well. To help today I bought some Ruskin and a collected edition of modern women’s poetry, as well as A.S. Byatt’s Elementals, not Victorian at all, but perhaps rather inspired by some work of the fin du siecle, so that’s ok. It’s the first entry in my reading diary too.

Hopefully, by the time I get to uni I’ll have read over 50 books related to my course, I even before I find out what the reading lists for it actually are, I am super prepared. Forcing myself to keep some sort of academic frame of mind will be really useful, I just wish I knew someone I could actually talk to about some of the books I’ll be reading. I forsee this blog having lots of reading-related ramblings, I’m really looking forward to it.

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Endless Reflections

So, I’ve had writer’s block for this blog for a while, balanced out partially by the fact that my zine has been going pretty well, I’ve been really busy with it, and I think all of my inspiration has been going into that rather than here. That’s not a bad thing at all, since I’m hoping to get it done by July 1st, not that far away at all.

However, I just saw this. I don’t know what to think. I’m sure it is new, it’s not something I’ve seen before, but searching Yahoo I found this,so I guess that must be what it is, I can’t believe I hadn’t heard about it. I wonder if it will come to the UK or if that was it, I guess since it’s 2009 now that was it, which is lame.

Still, that has confirmed one thing for me, I thought I was totally sick of The Sandman after writing my dissertation on it, but the excitement when I stumbled on that teaser page proves I’m obviously not, which is nice. It also reminded me I was going to post my dissertation on here, so, sometime after 19th June when Iget my results, I’ll post my dissertation up here for you all to read.

Change of Plan

I’ve recently come to the horrible realisation I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I’m going along the route to become a teacher, but it’s actually a relief that I didn’t get into uni to do a PGCE this year, and that seems a pretty big sign that maybe I don’t want to be a teacher. I’m at least back to enjoying my degree, but even if I could get the financing to do an MA, and stay in education, I don’t think I could be a lecturer, it’s all speaking in public and talking to people. My mum thinks I should be a librarian, I don’t know, at least I could do. Really I want to write book reviews for The Guardian, and have my zine take off, neither of those will happen, this year at least I’m going to end up in a dead-end retail job.

None of this is helping my life be less shit. I am having to actually work to be happy, but it’s not so bad, at least I have lots to do, I’m loving the Jung I’m reading, and all the Sappho stuff, and yesterday I wrote a manifesto for my zine, God, it’s so pretentious, I seriously have this vision of the zine being something like one of the tiny magazines the Modernists published. I’ll be just like T.S. Eliot!

Music is helping so much at the moment,it’s a chliche but it’s true, especially loud shouty stuff, Against All Authority, Capdown, Random Hand, Propagandhi, and I have tickets for Propagandhi and Catch 22 now, as well as Streetlight Manifesto. I’m holding these out in front of me as little rewards for writing Chapter 1, or getting through my Virginia Woolf essay, or whatever.

This has been a pretty pointless entry, next time expect musing on Tiger Army and the figure of the beautiful dead woman in Victorian poetry to make up for it.

House

Things in my personal life are slightly better, the big thing being – I have a house! I’m moving tomorrow, and we’d had a bit of trouble with money and stuff but it’s all sorted, and the deposit is paid, and I’m like 90% packed, with a big list of all the things I need to buy, I’m super excited, I’ll be living with three of my friends and it will be lovely. Hopefully once I’m moved I’ll be feeling a bit more settled and so be able to get started on writing again.

The other thing is that I now have two ideas for features in the first issue of the fanzine, both pretty long articles, I even have an amazing idea for a photo to go with one of them, assuming I can borrow a digital camera and my little brother and sister. I wish I was less excited about this and more excited about my dissertation, I think my next entry will be about my dissertation just so I can actually start writing something, only 7 weeks till it’s due in and I’ve done nothing…

Writers block/ fanzine

My personal life has gone to shit, to put it bluntly, the only bit of it that isn’t bad is my health, so I am expecting to get tonsillitis again at any moment, to complete the other areas that are crap at the moment. This has all left me feeling unable to concentrate on anything remotely important, so no dissertation, not even any reading for uni, and I foresee there will be no new blog posts for a while, unless they are just me talking about how I don’t understand the big deal with Watchmen, having just discovered Promethea, which is just so much better.

The only thing I do have some enthusiasm for is an idea that I’ve been thinking about for a few weeks now, and the more I look into it the more viable it seems – I am going to write a fanzine. It will be related to this blog, the two will probably promote each other, and the sort of stuff I write here will turn up inĀ  the zine. I’m hoping to get the first issue out by July, I don’t want to rush myself, because my plans are getting more and more out of control all the time, and I don’t even know anyone who would be up for writing some stuff for it. Still, it will happen, and so a lot of this blog will probably detail my attempts to get it written and distributed. My first task is actually talking to people who like roughly the same type of music as me, and seeing if they’ll be interested in writing for it, of course any submissions will be very welcome.